School can be one of the most challenging environments for a child with autism or OCD — and also one of the most important places to get support right. Teachers and support staff spend significant time with your child. Their observations are valuable. Their understanding can make an enormous difference to your child’s daily experience.
But approaching the school can feel daunting. You may worry about stigma, about how your child will be seen, or about whether the school will take your concerns seriously. Here is a practical guide to navigating these conversations.
Who to speak to first
Your first contact should usually be the SENCO — the Special Educational Needs Coordinator. Every state school in England is required to have one. Their role is specifically to coordinate support for children with additional needs.
You can request a meeting with the SENCO directly. You do not need to go through the class teacher first, although it can help to let the teacher know you’re concerned.
What to bring to the meeting
Come prepared with your observations. What are you seeing at home? When did it start? What impact is it having? If you’ve already spoken to a GP or are on a CAMHS waiting list, mention this — it gives the school context for the urgency of your concerns.
Ask the SENCO what they have observed. Schools often notice things that parents don’t, and vice versa. The picture is always richer when both perspectives are shared.
What the school can do
Even without a diagnosis, schools can put support in place. This might include:
- Additional check-ins from a trusted adult
- A quiet space available when things feel overwhelming
- Advance warning of changes to routine
- Reduced or modified homework during difficult periods
- A visual schedule for the school day
- A plan for managing transitions between lessons or activities
You do not need a diagnosis to ask for these adjustments. The Equality Act 2010 requires schools to make reasonable adjustments for children with disabilities — and this can include children awaiting assessment.
If the school is unresponsive
If you feel the school is not taking your concerns seriously, you can ask for a meeting with the headteacher. You can also contact your local authority’s SEND information and advice service (IASS), which provides free, confidential advice to parents of children with additional needs.
This post is part of the Lumara guide series for parents. Lumara Screen is an evidence-informed online screening tool for parents concerned about repetitive behaviours, rituals, or routines in their child. Free to complete — full personalised report £7.99.
Ready to understand what you’re seeing? The Lumara screening tool takes around 10 minutes to complete and gives you a personalised report you can share with your GP or specialist. Free to start — full report £7.99.
Ready to understand what you're seeing? The Lumara screening tool takes around 10 minutes and gives you a personalised, evidence-informed report to share with your GP or specialist.
Try the screening tool →